After gift mayhem — I’m escaping down into the basement’s depths, an old troll living under the floorboards and threatening to eat cats and kin. Thinking, which can be hazardous to everyone’s health and causes weird plasticy burning smells mixed with the scent of hot wires.
I don’t know if it is the weather outside or in, but I’m feeling my inner esquimaux today. Probably, it is both.
Froze to the bone in my igloo home Counting the days ’til the ice turns green
Echo and the Bunnymen, The Yo-Yo Man
It’s not quite a goth depression sense; it’s more of a morose ennui. Maybe gloomy is the better word. Thinking doesn’t help matters when I’m in this mood other than doing so acts like a purge of sorts. The six to eight inches of snow that fell on Tuesday adds to the feeling of entrapment and I’m grateful that there is an unspoken rule that if I head to the basement and you hear music or tapping away at a keyboard, it’s probably best that you don’t poke that bear.
I’m at sea again And now your hurricanes have brought down this ocean rain To bathe me again My ship’s a sail Can you hear its tender frame Screaming from beneath the waves Screaming from beneath your waves
All hands on deck at dawn Sailing to sadder shores Your port in my heavy storms Harbours the blackest thoughts
Ian McCulloch/Echo and the Bunnymen
Along with the Standing on a Beach tour for the Cure (where I got to hand with the guys backstage after the show for an hour or so), the EatB show I saw in support of the “grey album” (which included the hit Lips Like Sugar) makes up the two best concerts I ever saw growing up. Both hit quite a few of the earlier songs at the time and I recall Ian singing this song. I’ll never forget that moment, a moment when I was suddenly not bummed that I was at the show by myself (sans a girlfriend, or any other friend, for that matter), and suddenly I realized that someone “got it”. Ian was crooning, holding the microphone like a lover, and I was there too, loving whomever the song was for at the same moment.
It seems that this song captures most of my relationships, good and bad, in retrospect. It always seems as if it is my storm or another’s that rocks the boat.
I’m not an easy person to live with, or even be around.