©2022 Michael Raven
Ever try to take a drink of water from a garden hose with a sprayer attachment. Fun stuff, right?
Imagine, then, that it isn’t a garden hose. Instead, you are trying to drink from a firehose. Yep, that’s me.
I went from not having much work at all just before I went on my trip to Seattle/Portland in January to having more work that I want or care to handle. And everyone is trying to make me an “owner” of particular elements of the work they shove at me, something that implies management and the tough decisions that come with management.
I’m not being asked to manage, I’m just given larger and larger chunks of responsibility.
Who does that?
I mean, sure, almost anyone else — I can see it you handing off such things. Me? Holy hand grenade, Batmouse. What makes anyone think I am a good candidate for being a responsible person?
Full disclosure: I was always management from the tender and foolish young age of 18 until about 35 in various workplaces (janitorial, retail, printing, espresso café, hair salon, etc.). I even got lulled into thinking I might want a management role at my current job for a while but, lucky for me, the roles I was handed didn’t stick. And I’ve since modified my attitude about management.
Namely: I don’t want it.
I want to make widgets. That’s all. I don’t care if they are blue widgets, red widgets, motherfrigging rainbow-colored widgets… as long as they are widgets, and I am making them, I’m good. Just don’t ask me to make decisions or “manage” something. I don’t even want to manage other people making widgets.
But I’m getting requests to not only manage widgets, but to manage other people making doohickeys. And snark production while wrangling boojum.
I don’t want risk. I don’t want responsibility. I don’t want to really make value judgments (which is odd, because I work with QC of widgets).
I wish people would just let me focus on widgets…
I’m currently fighting the urge to sabotage it all.