Melancholic Boojum

©2022 Michael Raven

It is a melancholy kind of day. Truth be told, and if I think about it, it’s been a melancholy kind of week.

If I was asked why it was a melancholy kind of week, I don’t know if I could put my finger on the why of the matter. Maybe it was the rain and persistent grey. Maybe it was the snowfall the day after the rain. Maybe it was just another dip in my mood cycle, or loneliness, or a sense that I am a ghost just doing time creeping back into my psyche. Or are those just symptoms of something else?

Anyway, it’s been some time since I did a catch-up kind of post. I like to do them just so I can self-inventory more than gush forth details that likely belong more in a private diary than online. Believe me, the private writings are far more torrid than these posts.

After a fairly hectic few weeks for my paying job, there is a small lull in the action and I am taking advantage of that by finding distraction after distraction instead of doing things I should be doing. I saw a joke (?) video elsewhere that said you can make up to £600 as a paid garden gnome. The video was filled with grown men sitting in someone’s back yard, dressed as garden gnomes and, while I was aware it was a joke (?), I wondered if I could possibly find work along those lines: sitting in a garden in my red hat, holding a fishing rod or warming a toadstool with my bum. That seems like a fantastic career, except in maybe the extremes of winter or summer. Maybe I could get a window-display gig with a controlled climate?

I wish I could be a gnome or a fantasy nomadic vagabond, wandering from place to place in a brightly-painted wagon. Most of all, I wish I could maybe do things different than I’ve done them. Regrets? Perhaps. But there are no do-overs, as the djinn pointed out.

The book should be out any time now. Part of me is thrilled. Part of me is terrified. I know I am reluctant to look at reviews once it is released into the wild — I’m not sure reviews are good for anything other than… well… anything. They rarely even help you make a decent purchase, but especially so when it comes to poetry. You either like what you read or you don’t. Sometimes you’ll even hate it, and another person’s perspective is not the best gauge as to if you’ll like it or not. Nor is it a good measure, as a writer, as to what you did right or wrong, as the people most apt to write a review tend to be elitists when it comes to such things. I don’t know — it seems like a quick road to either getting an inflated sense of worth, or an inflated sense of lack of worth.

So, I’ve been sitting around in my basement office for much of the week being all full of spleen and melancholy, wondering if the sun will ever decide to shine — and contemplating illogic when I am not trying to escape into a videogame or the newest issue of Monstress. Sometimes I write, too. Although I don’t know if I should.

Take care, all of you. Be happy and hale. Don’t let the boojum get you.

Embrace the love so fair...

9 thoughts on “Melancholic Boojum

  1. I’ll be a gnome and wear a pink dress for that type of money! 😄

    I came across an illustrator this week who charges 250$ per drawing.
    I thought it was a joke, because she clearly uses very low resolution pictures from the internet as background (like mountains or a garden) and then draws something that is very close to stick people.
    But nope, she was actually serious about the price.

    Maybe one day I can be a gnome and draw at the same time for that money 😅

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d wear a pink *tutu* and be a gnome for that price. Of course, I might do that anyway, on a lark.

      $250 for a drawing seems steep for what I assume is novice work (and especially if they don’t have a published work or decent portfolio). And, if you are employing copyright infringement to produce the piece? That’s hardly worth it when the lawyers comes at you with lawsuits.

      I’m always surprised at how much people think artistic people actually make doing their art. If I’ve made more than $200 TOTAL as a musician back when I was performing, I think I’d surprise myself. And writing… Well, to be fair, I haven’t recently tried to sell my writing — the book will be the first time in decades I’ve tried to make any money off of non-technical writing.

      I look forward to seeing more from you.

      Be the gnome. Feel the gnome. You are the gnome… 🙂

      Like

      1. Hahah now I am picturing your in a pink tutu 😄

        Yes, unfortunately it isn’t easy for artists, but I am starting up very slowly and making some money out of my art.

        You are a technical writer then?
        I did that for a while too!

        And a book is coming up! Exciting!
        Will it be available as an ebook? Denmark is really shitting with all these delivery services. We don’t even have Amazon here!

        I feel like a gnome right now 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Me, in a tutu, should horrify you. 🙂

          I’m always happy when people can do what they love and make money from it. Good to hear.

          I am a chemist and a scientist for when I feel all left-brained. Which is not very often lately. I’d much rather do artsy things like write my dream job is going back to being a barista so I can work on making that perfect shot of espresso to go with the perfect steamed milk in a latte.

          The book is currently physical only. I was going to recommend Amazon, but I bet Lulu has a production partner in Denmark (or nearby). I believe they are largely worldwide, at least in Europe, Americas, and possibly Asia. They would print there and then ship direct. I’ll look into it. I would offer to ship direct, but I think you might barf at the postage fees I’d have to charge.

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  2. For a person with a visual and vivid imagination, reading how you want to sit as a gnome in a red hat is hilarious. 🙂

    If you’ve had a week of gray weather and rain, no wonder you’re down a bit. On the other hand, we all function in cycles, and it is normal to go through certain shifts and changes.

    As for the book, I take my hat off, sir, lol. As a person who’s written two books and published zero, the fact that yours will be published regardless of the reviews and your fear of them is f@cking amazing. You do know that, right?

    Sun will shine again, and you will come out of that basement. You have my word. 💚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I’d make an awesome gnome.

      As far as my moods go, weather certainly doesn’t help, but it is also a chronic thing that I’ve largely learned to manage (except when I don’t manage it very well).

      I’m blessed that I’ve had an advocate to make the book happen. I’ll probably still avoid reviews and just let it be so I can focus on other things, but I’m weird that way. Thanks for the vote of confidence. 🙂

      And thanks for all of the kind words. I appreciate them all. ❤

      Like

  3. Hello Micheal

    I am sorry that you feel in tones of grey, I know that feeling well. Saying it will pass won’t be of much help I guess… maybe being a gnome in a garden will… maybe 😅

    Kidding aside, as I’m not great at cheering people up, what I can say, is that you don’t need to care too much about critics… they do their own things, which is actually to tell opinion that are sure not wanted most of the time. You have written that book with your heart, and from what you already shared, it shows up in your writing. Be it in the book or in all your poetry. Plus you got an editor who wanted to give credits to what you wrote… in my book that is no small feats.

    You are entitled to be a writer and may it be so! Take care of you, and receive my loving thought.

    Miriam D. 💗💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Miriam. I really appreciate your kind words. I’m glad to have you as one of my new friends.

      I think I will follow your advice and become a gnome. 🙂

      I’m really glad that Tara has taken me under her wing on this venture. Without her help, I don’t know that a book would have ever seen the light of day and I’m glad she’s given me the opportunity to showcase some of my writing as a physical book. I owe her.

      Sending loving thoughts back at you. ❤ ❤

      However, I stand by my warning regarding this book… I may have done horrible things to the French I use within it. My French is no where as good as your English.

      And some people may wonder about my grasp on English, too. 😀

      Like

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