I grew up in an era where claims of a platonic relationship between people of the opposite sex was given a nod and a wink with a heavy dose of: “Riiiiiiight. Platonic… Uh-huh. Gotcha.” Cocked finger gun. tch tch. Mouthed: Bang.
I should know — I got that response all the time as a teen and well into my twenties, although I never defined my friendships with women as “platonic”. In reality, that’s mostly what it was, save for the use of the word. Most of my friends (when I had more) have been women over the years and I can safely say that I only felt romantically inclined with a small portion of them. Some of them turned into relationships of one sort another, but most were better as friendships. I just preferred to hang out with the opposite gender, as I felt I was better received and understood by women compared to the guys I befriended. Women were more accepting of my tendency to wear androgynous clothing, makeup and spend too much time on my hair making sure it was just so before going out (no wonder I shave it down these days). Men would roll their eyes and, not occasionally, avoid being seen with me in public. or leverage my eccentricities to meet people curious about “that strange-looking bloke” across the nightclub floor.
Times have changed between rejection of gender identity and folks coming out more easily and, out of curiosity (and the blue), I wondered if I needed to update my concepts of “platonic”.
Good grief. The above is just a fraction (although inclusive of the most common definitions I saw) of the different types of attraction one person can have for another (or mutually) by today’s definitions. I guess they all make sense, but it sure shows how out of touch I am with these concepts. Being an introverted SOB will do that, I suppose.
And I “get” all of these. Experienced them over the ages, too — even the less familiar terms. And it’s interesting how the upper row used to be of primary importance in the past, but the lower row of terms seems somehow more appealing in recent times (although I’m not immune to having a stray crush here and there ::whistles innocently::). I mean, they all have their level of “interesting” to me, but I’m leaning more (especially lately) toward the lower tier.
Anyway, no real motivation to write this post other than to assume (quite possibly incorrectly) there is at least one person who is lacking in the world savvy skills of identifying attraction types that might find this information interesting as well.
Or maybe I just to find myself a squish.