I’m in one of those contemplative moods lately, less engaged with external things. While I don’t hold much stock in tarot as a divination tool, I do see it as a potentially great tool for introspection and I guess it was unsurprising to me that the Four of Cups came up when, on a lark, I did a single-card draw. Essentially, that’s the core meaning of the card: introspection, contemplation, evaluation. The image is of a subject ignoring a proffered cup as well as ignoring three others in waiting, suggesting that there are external influences that need to be put on hold (or rejected) in favor of the internal.
I’ve been doing less of the social and news media thing the past month or so — scanning through articles instead of being compelled to read them, the same with most social media stuff, although my social media is very limited (to Twitter, and mostly to cross-promote, and that has dropped off in frequency as well). I’ve also posted less here, although it probably doesn’t feel like it. But here’s a “pretty” image to show the change:
As you can see, I started to peak back in December, really peaked in January, and declined since then. Some of that might have been the stress of current events, but I don’t recall that being a primary motivator for posting. However, I do recall going into a more contemplative mindset near the end of February, as I started to grapple with some of those latent unresolved spiritual things. I mean — it’s been largely continuous throughout my adult life, but I’ve not been willing or able to come up with a “unified theory” [sorry physics folks, for the appropriation] to pull everything together that I’ve collected over the years. Lately, that lack of unity has bothered me, and so I’ve recently been compelled to actually dig in deeper than I have in a long while to put the pieces together. It has seemed vitally important since late last year (around mid-November), and that feeling has increased since then, and exponentially in the past month or so.
You’ll probably have noticed the change in the writing topics as well, as these thoughts consume more of my consciousness. I’ve been trying very hard to capture this sensation of the raw earthiness of my mindset and focusing less so on the intellectual and “airy” side of the creative spectrum. I have been playing more with the visceral and less with the cerebrally-dependent elements in my wordplay. I’m less interested in the fantastic and mythic than I am in the gonads and guts of it all right now. Why? I can’t say aside from making some oblique statement as to it not being the right time for intellectual elitism, that it somehow seems to miss the mark for me in many, many ways.
What’s this post’s purpose? Shit if I know. I’m really just chatting with myself over a cup of hot coffee and I avoid looking out at the fresh snow that quashed the false spring we had going on for the past few weeks.