The Scotsman

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said, “We must be gone
Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along”
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot’s kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind a bush he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what’s before his eyes
“Ah, lad I don’t know where you’ve been but I see you won first prize”

I know this song with a few more saucy lines than the Rovers use in their version; essentially, the Scotsman is subsequently asked directly what’s up his kilt and he invites a lass to put her hand up to find out for herself. She says, “Sir, that’s gruesome.” He replies, “Do it again, and you’ll find it’s grew some more.”