Silence

I think I will take a break from public interaction and commenting for a short spell.

I know I pull this stunt occasionally, but I have different reasons for it this time. It might be entirely my imagination (probably it is not), but I get the distinct feeling some of my words outside of story or poetry are sometimes being misunderstood, which is ironic (all things considered). Or worse, that inside narratives and verse they are misunderstood. In which case, I’m fucked.

I know several things:

  • My humor is a bit eccentric and dry to the point hat it has always been an issue for folks to understand my love of nonsense and understatement. It’s not easy to communicate IRL, let alone in cyberspace. People sometimes can’t see it, though I try to express it in terms of italic, asterisks, underscores, pointers and whatnot to hopefully overemphasize a word or group of words. Unfortunately, it sometimes doesn’t cross language barriers or work even within English.
  • I go on rants the sometimes net more folks into my derision than intended. I’m the old curmudgeon who yells at kids to get off his goddamn lawn (complete with shaking fist) and, in reality, I’m just a frustrated old man who wants to get along with folks and maybe invite them over for coffee to sit on his couch covered with plastic furniture protectors.
  • I forget (at times) that people have steeled themselves against the untrustworthy faceless people of the internet who’s main motivation is grift and getting under the skin of people to destroy them. I grew up in a time where you relied on face-to-face contact to access someone’s character and there was much less anonymity. Rightfully, sad to say, people have to take precautions to protect themselves from bad actors. I don’t always realize how much I pick up on other elements from my days of reading people in person that other people might not notice, but I can generally pick out a bad apple right away because of my years working as a barista, a records store employee, a bookstore salesperson and a cosmetologist/hairstylist. There’s tone, even in word choice, in most communications. So I ignore/cut-off the bad actors and assume that others place the same trust I place in them in me. Silly old man, trust is for chumps. And I realize that I am on probationary terms with some folks, yet acting like they should trust my sorry old ass. Sorry about the overly familiar tones I take with folks — time to back off.

So, I’ll back off for a while on some of my habits in case I am right in trusting that feeling that something is amiss, or that I’ve offended someone unintentionally either though carelessness or misunderstanding.

I am sorry for any stress, strife, misunderstanding or anger I may have caused in anyone’s life (assuming my intuition is correct) in my comments on other sites (or here).

13 thoughts on “Silence

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