Spree-killing vikings and an inconclusive discussion on why I roleplay women in games

I’ve been off in another realm today. Norway. Or some game designer’s Norway. I’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla. As a woman (more on that later).

Basically, if you ever watched Vikings, you have a good idea of what the game is like so far. Mean, big and ugly guys pick on the small, but infinitely cooler, guys and the latter push the bully back.

Who doesn’t love vikings?

I don’t think I’m ruining much of the plot, but we’ve got a backdoor king who takes your glorious kick the bully’s ass and turns it into a “bending the knee” moment. Because, well, he did loan his soldiers to you and it only seems fair payment to take your land (with your adoptive father’s permission).

I agree with a reviewer that it would probably be a better game if they ripped the Assassin’s Creed label off the front and just had a “Be a Viking!” game without the baggage of the franchise.

As I mentioned, I purposely chose to play the character as a woman. I always do in video games, when I have a choice. I know some guys make that choice in third-person POV game because they like to watch the ass and hips wiggle. I’m not one of those people and, really, I have some weird quirks, but that seems more than a little pitiful.

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Nine While Nine

I remember buying First and Last and Always album a month or so after it released in the US. I bought it at my favorite record store which had just switched from a hole-in-the-wall crap location to a large, spacious store a short 3/4 block away. In fact this might have been the first album I bought at the new location. CDs were a new thing and they had them, but the CD section was walled off from the rest of the store and maybe was the size of a large bathroom with glass doors so they could make sure you didn’t steal the merchandise. This is before CD-keepers and it was a small matter to cut open the over-sized cardboard box meant to make theft difficult (hahahaha) and slip it into a bag, if you wanted. I never did. I missed that store as it went to the place where all vinyl record stores went to die. I could spend hours there, just flipping shrink-wrapped records flap-flap-flap.

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Ladykiller.

“You know what I miss?” he asked. “I miss flirty banter with some chick you barely know, filled with all kinds of innuendo and other serious-sounding bullshit. And both of you knowin’ that it didn’t mean anything, but lapping up those positive vibes from each other because, well, in a different time and place, maybe it might mean something. You know what I mean?”

The second man, maybe forty, maybe older, blew out a smoke ring that he tried to not appear surprised to have blow because it had never worked when he tried. He didn’t answer right away. It could wait. He sipped at his coffee and placed it back on the deck railing.

“Yep. Good times.”

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We’re all mad here

Snicker-snack. Occam’s vorpal razor.

I’m not sure what to do for entertainment tonight. I don’t much feel like losing again to a Persona 5 boss that I have been having issues with. I’m not sure if writing is in the cards tonight either — I don’t feel particularly inspired at the moment to write something long and, well, short stuff is so short and leaves me with large amounts of time left over.

Continue reading “We’re all mad here”