“We are gathered here today to…”
No. More solemn, dammit.
“I thought I was solemn!”
You were quoting Prince, you dipshit. Now be serious. Solemn. Honest.
A wake. Awake. A wake.
This week was one of those pivotal moments in time where you raise up your arms in disgust and wonder just what the fuck the world has come to. People going apeshit crazy because someone made the mere suggestion that large gathering were still probably not the best goddamn idea in the age of pandemic, especially when it’s just left the starting blocks. Instead of a moderated transition to social-less-distancing, we proved to the rest of the world that we are toddlers who can’t keep our diapers on for more than a few hours before we decide enough is enough, my first world problems are too freaking much and they all shed the masks like a brass ring through their noses and case those masks to the wind. Free at last, thank bog almighty, free at last! Shedding the shackles of indenture imposed by a tyrannical government, those awful 6 weeks are done and they can celebrate being bog damned Americas with bog damned rights!
Thank bog for Bud Light, apple pie and goddamn BBQ.
And, that was apparently not enough for my home town’s cops as they tried and succeeded in proving that racism is alive and well in Minnesota, crushing the life out a black man for “apparently” trying to pass a fake $20 bill. What a horrible crime! We can’t possibly treat someone as innocent until proven guilty. Our body cams proved his guilt as soon as we showed up, and we wear badges and we are white. White make right, innit that right?
Thank bog for Bud Light, apple pie and goddamn old fashioned policing.
We’ve probably hit that magic 100k about now. Ain’t that the shit? Make America… Grate… A-Something.
Thank bog for Bud Light, Asshat delight and toddlers in chief.
I looked at what we had wrought, the pitchforks and torches, the good old boyz in the trailer hood, Twitter is burning and vigilantes thankful they hadn’t thrown away masks and verbal granados… And wept.
And decided it was time for my funeral. I rolled over, unable to look at it anymore. Naked anger, naked spite, justice stripped so far down it was bare of anything resembling laws and sanity. It was too much.
Too much hate. Too much division. Too much selfishness. Too much death.
I closed the cover of the book of my social account and this time I am serious about leaving that shit behind. Time to die, said Roy.